Destined to be disappointed?
Yes, there have been times in my life when I really felt that disappointment was my destiny.
Whether you are aware of them or not, we all have underlying emotions that drive our behavior. When you dig deep enough you can get to the root emotion that blocks you from experiencing true love and connection, with ourselves and others.
Recently in the Divine Navigation Personal Mastery program we did just that! In May we began a series focusing on each of the four directional Divine Coordinates. And as with all things in Divine Navigation, we started in the West – with the Heart.
The West is the direction that governs feelings and emotions. More specifically, your West Divine Coordinate is how you express and experience unconditional love. It’s how you show love and it’s how you feel love.
Without the energy of the your West Divine Coordinate present, it doesn’t matter how much attention, energy or devotion someone showers on you, you will not actually feel loved. We ourselves are often the one responsible for our ability (or inability as it were) to receive the love that is being offered.
During the monthly Personal Mastery training and throughout the month, each participant worked on identifying their core wound and had an opportunity to receive support from me on clearing that emotion – including me!
I’ve often said “I am the first student of Divine Navigation!” In this case, the experience that led me to a deeper awareness of my own wound showed up the week after I led the training for the group.
It was a regular weekday evening and I was looking forward to enjoying the evening with my guy when a simple change of plans was requested. One that really should not have been a big deal except that I very much wanted to see him. By the way my body responded you would have thought it was life and death. This warranted some deeper exploration!
As I stayed with the experience and went underneath the sensation to the source emotion, I was able to identify the emotion as “disappointment.” Not the “Oh, that’s too bad. Oh well….” kind of disappointment but the “See, why bother! I never get what I want. I’ll never get what I want.” kind of disappointment.
Then I reflected on the theme of disappointment and being “let down” in my life. Everything from people not keeping their word on small things to large betrayals that shattered my vision of someone (not to mention my heart). From not going for something I really wanted to avoid disappointment to laying everything on the line and it not working out. Turns out, this is an emotion I know all too well!
When you experience the same emotion over and over it can eventually become such a habit that you end up seeing it even when it’s not actually there. I became aware of the assumption that I was unconsciously operating under an “I will be disappointed.”
This goes back as far as I can recall. And the worst part is, I don’t think that it even started out as mine! Yes, we can and do pick up emotional and mental patterns from those that surround us. Parents; partners; siblings; and strangers alike.
I don’t know that he ever said it out loud but I am pretty certain this underlying emotional energy came from my dad. Along with the message of “don’t dream and you won’t be disappointed.” That’s a pretty tough message for anyone to receive but especially rough on a girl with Possibility as her East Divine Coordinate to live with!
There have been plenty of times when that message was winning that I accepted less than the love that I deserve (remember this is connected with the West; the direction of the Heart) or wasn’t able to receive all the love that was actually there. Times when I was setting my sights lower than what I really wanted or wasn’t willing to admit what my heart truly desired – even to myself!
After a “lifetime of letdowns,” I for one am ready to live fully into my West Coordinate and set my heart free! That is in fact the only way that we feel love. It has been said that we cannot feel the love coming from another, we can only feel the love FOR another flowing through us.
How does that happen? With an unburdened heart full to overflowing with it’s own energy (your West Divine Coordinate).
What underlying emotion is running your heart; your life?
Liberate yourself from that emotion.
Allow the full energy of your West Coordinate to become the authority of your heart and it will bring you the love you’ve always been looking for…..
The love inside of YOU!