I’d rather see your scrapes and scars over a facade of perfection any day!

During an appearance my interviewer mentioned this article which was originally published on my previous website in July 2016. She was expressing how much she connected with what I wrote and thanked me for expressing that we do not need to be perfect in order to guide others to recognizing their own innate perfection. I was inspired to re-read it myself and wanted to repost it here.

Original Article:

Eat, Pray… Heartbreak

Last week, Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame revealed that she and her husband (the Love part of the book), were separating. While divorce is no longer the taboo that it once was, it is still never something that one endeavors into lightly.

Especially when it is a relationship that has been on public display and is viewed as a cornerstone of one’s success.

I am by no means saying that this is how Liz would or does view her relationship but based on some of the hurtful comments made on social media by some of her followers there are those that appear to.

There were comments to the effect of people feeling betrayed by the renewed hope they received through being witness, voyeur even, to the journey of this love story.

Just because it has come to an end in its current form does not mean that it is no longer a love story!

Any relationship, no matter the length or form, that opens your heart, expands your capacity to give and receive, strengthens your ability to express love and ultimately makes you a better you is a love story.

For me, I never followed Liz because of her love story – except the love story she had with herself. Others apparently did.

The best teachers are in the trenches with you every day. Living life, learning, growing, messing up, getting hurt, getting back up, giving it another try and sharing their journey along the way.

Where we get into trouble is when we expect our teachers and guides to live up to a misguided ideal that we project onto them.

It takes an unparalleled amount of courage, a deep sense of self and an unfailing commitment to our own growth and that of our fellow man to keep showing up and sharing openly and freely in the face of potential persecution that may come our way with our perceived failings.

But I gotta tell ya….

I’d rather see your scrapes and scars over a facade of perfection any day.

And I have no doubt there is more to learn from and appreciate about that person than one who has never seen challenge or pain.

Maybe if we stop holding ourselves to an unattainable ideal of perfection we can stop holding others to it as well.

Liz Gilbert is a beautiful example of the power of transparency. 

Transparency is not about oversharing or making public what is private such as the details to why these two beautiful people are choosing to change the form of their relationship at this time. It is about dropping the facades and meeting one another soul to soul.

In order to have the ability to meet another in this sacred space, you must first know your own soul. You must be willing to look yourself straight in the eye and acknowledge and embrace every single element of the beautifully complex being that you are.

Intimacy must first be created with yourself. It’s time to stop hiding, avoiding and denying your truth. Until you learn how to be fully transparent with yourself, real intimacy and truly being seen by another will elude us.

Let’s take off the masks of perfection and truly witness ourselves and one another with all our flaws, failings and fantastical-f’d up-ness and choose to love anyway.

Let’s hold the space for dear Liz’s healing the way we would wish for the space to be held for us.



  1. Nelson Chochrek on March 27, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Hi there, I read your blogs on a regular basis. Your humoristic style is witty, keep it up!