How To Manifest Love: The Right Way
When it comes to how to manifest love there’s plenty of advice out there. From the latest dating apps to how to keep the relationship you’ve got. All the usual tips and tricks, techniques and tools have been covered somewhere. None of the usual advice will be shared here, however. Instead we’ll be taking a look at how we inadvertently keep ourselves from manifesting love and how to manifest love the right way.
In illustration, here’s a little story. Some years back, a private client unexpectedly found herself in a loving relationship that seemed to hold wonderful possibilities. As she joyfully shared about their synchronistic meeting, she also quickly added “but he doesn’t match my pictures.” Followed by the complete accounting of the ways he did not stack up to the list of her preconceived ideal partner.
You know the one I’m talking about. Whether we’ve actually written it down or not we’ve all had our running list of deal breakers and preferences when we are actively working to manifest a relationship with someone. In essence profiling the person you’d like to spend your life with. (And don’t think this stops once you manifest a relationship either.)
These could be based on compatibilities of past partners and what worked in the relationship or conversely what you felt didn’t work in those unions. Some items on your checklist may be of the “more of that, please” variety. Others from the “not that again!” perspective. All these elements come together to paint a picture of who and what we want in a romantic partner.
How to manifest someone
While having a clear picture of the person you want to be with is useful, before we can get into how to manifest someone, it’s important to understand the conscious and unconscious criteria that may have been inadvertently established and the source of the requirements that have been put in place. Here are some of the most common drivers for what you’ll regularly find on relationship checklists along with specific pointers on what to watch out for so they don’t end up keeping you from your ultimate objective of manifesting love.
- Opposites of past partners. As in “I didn’t like that…;” “that didn’t work…;” “that hurt!,” “I don’t want that again…” We assume if we ask for the opposite that will resolve past challenges for us. So we take the opposite approach of “let me try this instead…” The trouble here is that we humans can have a tendency to over-correct when we are in reaction. This could leave out some people who would actually be a high-quality partner.
- Conditioned images of what you think you should want. As in “this is what I learned a relationship is supposed to look like.” Primarily made up of programming and societal paradigms, this can take many forms but often leads to conformity or compromise. Be cautious about thinking you know what any relationship feels like on the inside based on what it looks like on the outside. The fact of the matter is what works for one couple in a relationship may not work for another. We are talking about manifesting love here, not just manifesting a relationship. (There is a big difference! We’ll talk about that more in just a bit.)
- What will make you look good in the eyes of others. It’s human nature to want to look good. It goes too far when we are in essence using another person to make us look good. Here’s where unconscious thoughts such as “People will envy/ respect/validate me if I am with this kind of partner” come in. These might include things such as attractiveness, employment status, or other symbols of success. It also means that we could end up passing someone by on first glance because we are judging them on superficial criteria. Be willing to take that second glance. There may be something special there you didn’t notice at first.
- Things you are keeping yourself from doing now. If you think “when I have my perfect partner I’ll get to/be able to(fill in the blank),” you’re falling prey to this one. If you’re waiting for a partner to show up before you allow yourself to do something (anything) then you are missing out on your own life. The most attractive thing to your ideal partner will be you living a fulfilling life. Don’t wait for a partner to live your life fully. In fact, you just might manifest love on that trip you’ve been waiting to take until you meet your match.
- Romanticized caricatures we’ve daydreamed about. Made up of an amalgam of external expectations created from outside influences – society, social media, movies, etc. these aren’t actually real people. Who can blame us for having a fantasy of that perfect partner that will come along. Surely then our dreams will find us, all our problems will be solved, and finally we will be healed from all the heart-break we’ve endured throughout our lives. Here’s the thing… only you can do that for you. Manifesting love from a place of wholeness is an entirely different experience than looking for someone to fill the void.
How to manifest someone to love you
There are two primary culprits keeping us from manifesting love when our relationship checklist consists of the types of criteria we just covered. The first is idealization. When we create too specific a picture, especially one based on external physical characteristics, enticing accomplishments and adventurous activities we imagine doing with this special someone, we have created an idealized version of a person. The trouble with idealizing someone is it’s nearly impossible not to end up disappointed. Instead of relating to the person in front of us, we keep searching for the imaginary person we’ve created in our minds.
Objectification is the other culprit that can undermine us when it comes to how to manifest someone to love you. If we are describing the car, the house, the physical appearance, the bank account or any other external expression of a person we are inherently turning them into an object. Sure there are those who equate someone’s value with what they’ve achieved, acquired or accomplished, what they look like or who they know. But when we are truly ready to manifest love, we are looking for more than what’s on the surface.
It’s time to get honest with ourselves. Going back to your mental checklist, what can you see now that you hadn’t noticed before? How many items are based on externals? These would be things that don’t tell you anything about who the person is on the inside, only how they look, what they’ve accomplished or what they’ve acquired.
For example, how many items on your list are appearance oriented? Is it the package that makes you love someone? If so, I hate to break it to you but that’s not love. Would you want to be loved simply for your appearance? Looks change. External beauty fades. True beauty comes from within.
Next, notice any criteria of achievement or accomplishment. It is who you are, not what you do (or have done) that makes you valuable. Do you want to be judged as valuable based solely on your achievements? Worldly success bears no indication of relationship success.
What acquisitions (or possessions) are you asking for? What expectations do you have for the kind of car someone drives, or how big their house or bank account is? Objects do not equate love. They don’t hold any value or substance on their own. And they certainly can’t warm our hearts (or beds).
When we conjure the image of a loving, generous, caring relationship are these types of things we’ve been talking about really what make that possible? Unlikely. Do you want to be loved for what’s on the outside or what’s on the inside? It’s important to remember that anything external can be taken away or disappear over time. Only what is on the inside is everlasting.
By now you can see how when you are looking for how to manifest someone to love you, our own best intentions can lead us astray. Too frequently we are basing what we think we want on past woundings, external expectations, misconceptions, idealizations, and objectifications.
How many of the items on your list are likely to truly fulfill your Soul? If you’re brave enough, consider each of the items with yourself in mind. Are you being this person? Do you have these things to offer another?
What you’ll notice is that these kinds of mental checklists are almost always made up of things that are based on our own perceived (conscious or unconscious) inadequacies. Something we feel we are lacking that we hope can be fulfilled by another person. A person who we hope will be the answer to our loneliness, perceived inadequacy, brokenness or unworthiness.
They are often criteria you are unconsciously measuring yourself against. At the same time you are judging yourself for not measuring up. And by extension you unconsciously deem yourself unworthy of what you desire – be it manifesting love or success or something else. Even if you manage to find someone who matches the list, you end up in a relationship with a set of criteria – not with a person.
The more external criteria we have the more likely we are focused on how to manifest a relationship with someone rather than how to manifest love – True Love. Are you really ready to know how to manifest love?
How to properly manifest love
When it comes to how to properly manifest love it’s always been an inside job. It may sound cliche but it’s true. Firstly that means, it’s what’s inside a person, the intangibles, where you will find the possibility of manifesting love. Instead of what kind of car someone drives, perhaps consider how they treat the attendant parking that car for them. Would that be kindness? Generosity? Or something else?
If we translated all the external pictures into energetic qualities we’d like to experience with and through our connection with someone we’d be far closer to understanding what we are really after when we are looking at how to manifest someone to love you. You might even consider making a relationship manifestation list based on these qualities.
Once you have, you’ll see something really cool. Every single item you put on your relationship manifestation list intended to attract your ideal partner, is actually a quality you appreciate and desire to cultivate in yourself. An experience you wish to have of yourself; an accomplishment you hope to achieve for yourself. Your list was always only ever giving you a peek into who you are meant to be and how to love yourself more.
Remember that client story? The realization she came to was it was only after she began focusing on herself and the experience she was having of herself that it was possible for her to attract and notice the man that didn’t match her picture and she certainly wouldn’t have recognized his as a potential partner if she’d been over-relying on her relationship checklist. He was more than she could have previously imagined. When she stopped looking “out there” trying to find him, he showed up in the chair right beside her. The greatest love of your life will not appear in someone else until you experience it within yourself.
Manifesting love or manifesting a relationship has never actually been about finding or getting love. It’s about becoming your unique expression of love then sharing that love with those around you. The key has always been (and always will be), to show up as yourself, fully aligned with your Soul, available to share the love you have inside.
When you surrender to all of who you are, exactly as you are, the person who can love and accept all of that can appear. It is through cultivating a deep connection with your true self that your right partner, your right work, your right riches have a chance to manifest. Until that time, your relationships often end up being based on false projections and founded on misconceptions – of ourselves and others.
The ultimate purpose of life and relationship is to evolve into exactly who you are designed to be, to create experiences in alignment with that for yourself and to share the gift of your presence with the world through those experiences. When you do that you can’t help but attract everything that’s meant for you! Including manifesting love.
Oh yeah….. and it probably won’t match your pictures.
Since 2011, courageous men and women around the world have chosen Divine Navigation and committed to the extraordinary and transformative experience of Aligning with their Soul – through their Divine Coordinates. We invite you to also explore the journey of living, loving and leading from your Soul.