Should I “Push Through” or “Go with the Flow”?
I don’t know about you but my days are often filled with moments where I have to choose between forwarding my agenda or going with the flow.
We all deal with this in small ways everyday. Going with the flow can look like letting that car go in front of us, deferring to where our partner wants to go to dinner, allowing our friend who needs to talk monopolize the conversation. No big deal, right?
What happens when it is a big deal? What happens when you have a target you are working toward and a seeming obstacle pops up to block you from your objective? What do you do then?
Well, it depends…..
First you need to know if this is:
- a minor nuisance that is simply occurring around you
- the natural resistance present whenever you are moving into a new space, or
- a literal course correction telling you “don’t go that way.”
There is no way to tell the difference between these three types of resistance based solely on circumstances. As with all things in life, there is often more going on than what you see on the surface.
Learning to discern between different types of resistance to going with the flow takes mastery.
Here are examples of each of these situations from my own life and the tools and techniques I used to move through them.
Just this weekend I had one of those “it’s around me but not about me” situations.
I was scheduled on a flight back to Colorado and the airline had a major mechanical malfunction resulting in the airplane cabin being filled with jet fuel. I had something specific that I was returning to Colorado for before heading to an appearance in Vegas midweek.
As a side note, I have never been able to buy into the whole law-of-attraction “you create everything” conversation. Our lives bump up against the lives of others constantly. You are the creator of your experience but not necessarily every detail of your reality. Creating your experience is about being able to command your experience REGARDLESS of the circumstances. See the difference?
So, my flight was ultimately cancelled and there were literally no seats left available that day. Connecting through another airport didn’t work because it wasn’t going to get me into Denver that night. My choices were to wait until the next day (the day I needed to be in Denver in the first place) but with limited availability, layovers and general travel time buffers, it was looking at burning a good additional twelve hours.
The first available direct flight was Monday (this was Saturday when this happened) on which I already had a full client load scheduled. Choosing this option would create the trickle down effect that would impact many more people than just myself.
On top of which, since I would be turning around and leaving for Vegas just two days later all that activity would still result in little more than busyness. I would only have one day at home in Colorado before having to turn around and leave again. Nope, being on the road is not all that glamorous after all people!
So, what’s a girl to do?
Find the path of least resistance.
My choices were to keep my eye on only the next objective of getting back to Colorado and push through to reach the goal of getting back “no matter what” or I shift my vision. What is the ultimate objective? All things considered, and with already missing out on my commitment on Sunday either way. What am I really going for here?
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
At that point my priorities became maintaining my own inner peace, showing up to serve my clients and arriving at the event in Vegas at my best. The path of least resistance was to fly directly to Vegas a few days later instead of wasting two entire days. Activity is not productivity after all!
An example of “natural resistance present when you are going to a new place” also comes from my experience of this past week.
There have been a lot of changes going on behind the scenes here at Divine Navigation. Changes that will allow us to more effectively serve more people. Needless to say there are a ton of moving parts and technology and I have a bit of a complicated relationship – especially when I am going through an up-level!
I was working on a deadline for a powerful new assessment platform, the Divine Profits Quiz, that is officially debuting at the event this week. My team and I have spent weeks preparing to sponsor this event.
Wouldn’t you know it, the technology fought back…. If I never hear the words “we’ve never seen this before” again in my life it will be too soon! For two days, I couldn’t get logged in to the platform and was getting extremely nervous about making my deadline. What was I going to do?
Keep your eyes on the prize.
There is a lot that has gone into this project – time, energy, and money. Meet this deadline was not optional! It could be so easy to get waylaid and discouraged unless you are being driven by something that is deeper and more meaningful than surface motivations.
When I am working with clients, facilitating groups or creating content, I am truly in my zone of genius. I can work for hours on end and not feel drained. Being on the computer and dealing with technology is the entirely opposite experience for me and a price I am willing to pay in the short term for the bigger vision.
While I have quite a few “don’t go that way” examples, most are quite complex. Since this article is officially getting long winded 😉 I am going to share a simpler example from a few weeks ago.
A dear friend, Jennifer, was hosting her first three day event that I was excited about attending. Another one of our friends, Michelle, was speaking on the final day. I had promised to be there to support her as well.
During that time, I was in the midst of final enrollment for the current Divine Coordinates Activation Program. For all intents and purposes we were also down one team member due to a family emergency. There was a lot of slack to pick up while our newest team member was getting up to speed and I was torn between conflicting priorities.
That final morning, I checked in and got that I should arrive at noon, giving me time to take care of some things that only I could handle at that point. Due to my commitment to Michelle, rather than just going with my intuition, I messaged another friend helping with the event and asked what time Michelle was going on. 10:20.
That did not match the message I got earlier about arriving at noon. I felt I had to keep my word and get there earlier. So, I got as much accomplished as possible and headed that way. But, I had to get gas and I needed a latte 😉
As soon as I got on the road it felt like roadblock after roadblock popped up. Something was wrong with the gas pump and it took fifteen minutes to fill. I would be a few minutes late but I would still see most of her talk.
Next I headed for my latte. For some reason I didn’t take my first sip for several blocks. Heartbreak. They had made me the wrong coffee. As I mentioned, I needed that latte…. so I had to turn around and go back to get it fixed. Now I was going to be lucky if I got there for any of Michelle’s talk!
Drop the agendas and expectations.
Why was I not finding any flow? Why was I meeting only resistance? I wasn’t following my own energy. I had conflicting priorities because I was making up a story about being a “good friend” and being their to support both Jennifer and Michelle instead of staying connected to what was happening for me at that time.
Running agendas and trying to fulfill on expectations are sure ways to get pulled off your path. If you are going to live a life that is truly yours, it is imperative that you stay aware of when external expectations are pulling you out of alignment from your purest priorities.
Stay connected to your purest priorities.
Minor or major roadblocks – unless they are of the first variety of resistance – are a sure sign that you may not be following your own path. Will there always be smooth sailing when you are on path? No. Please refer to the second type of “up-level” resistance 😉
However, when you are in alignment and on path there will be ease than effort, more flow then force and more power in your presence. Resistance is inevitable; sanity is a choice!