The Invitation to Being Unique

by Karen Joy Fritz

The invitation to being unique may arrive as a gentle nudge or as a clamoring roar. The craving to be unique is as crucial (and natural) as craving your next breath.

Feel it? That ping in your gut that doesn’t quite know how to get out. That longing to express something… authentic. The yearning to show up and be unique. Something more true than the trends or people-pleasing. 

Why is everyone so obsessed with being unique?

It’s an impulse from your very soul.

Listen.

The importance of being Unique

Why is being unique important? Ever wonder what’s the big deal about being unique? Maybe life would be “easier” if we all just conformed. All had the same job. All had the same taste in food, same haircut. All had the same love language. (Doesn’t feel very inspiring, does it?)

But we’re all different.

Every person who has made a change in the world has been unique. And our world could use some important changes.

Every person who has made a difference in someone’s life has been unique. And so many lives could use some important differences.

Every person who has created art or music. Every person who has decorated a home. Every person who has parented a child. Every person who has performed a job. Every. Single. One. Unique.

Because the truth is, every person is already unique.

Seriously, have you met any two people who are completely identical? Sure, some follow similar trends, or share belief systems, or like the same sports team. But the whole picture? Always already unique.

And that’s a good thing. In fact, that’s crucial for the continued functioning and evolution of humanity. As a collective, we always need growth around the edges and roots in the soil. We require keeping enough of today functioning for tomorrow’s visions to gain traction. Thank goodness we have different – unique! – interests and expressions and skills.

It’s all necessary – even when the pattern being woven isn’t visible to us individually.

So the question becomes, what is the importance of you being unique? 

Because only you can be you. There’s some unique role only you can fill in the ecosystem of your family, your community, the places you show up. 

It might be as simple as a smile you give the grocery clerk. It might be as savvy as a patent. It may be a ripple shining forth, like the support you give your kids which they pass on as kindness. Truth is, you’ll probably never know all the intricate ways your uniqueness impacts those around you. 

What you can know is that finding and expressing your way of being unique matters – crucially. 

What gets in the way of being Unique?

So what gets in the way of our being unique? If you’re already always unique, shouldn’t it be relatively easy?

Yes, it’s there but it’s covered over with layers of what people have told you – about yourself, about relationships, about how the world works. Conditioning. Programming. Training. Think of it like a beautiful diamond in a bundle of mud, concretions and layers of dirt.

Unfortunately some of the things we’ve been told make us reluctant to clean away the dirt – “what if I find something ugly?” “What if there’s no diamond at my center?”

What you’ll likely find is that reflections from others are often them dealing – or not – with their own wounds. None of their reflections of you were ever true.

Loving people inadvertently quash our unique expression to “help” us fit in, giving us the best advice they know at the time. “You can’t wear that to school, honey. Kids will laugh.” 

Toxic people quash our uniqueness because it threatens their self-image or worldview. “Why can’t you just follow the rules like normal people?”

These extremes and everything in between surround us in different roles, sometimes shifting around: parents, teachers, religious leaders, and later bosses and spouses.

All of which gets in the way of being unique.

We learn to hide our uniqueness in order to survive, to fit in, to get our needs met, to be loved. Hiding our uniqueness is a brilliant survival strategy – until it isn’t.

How do I find my Uniqueness?

Finding your uniqueness is a process of you cleansing away the dirt, the mud, the layers of untruth to uncover the diamond of truth that is your uniqueness.

This process isn’t always pleasant, but it’s worth it. Releasing the falsehoods can feel shattering to the false sense of self. Some of the mud gets washed away with tears. It’s a process. And you’re worth it.

One way to start is to write a list of every way your thoughts tell you you’re not unique. Leave space between each. Then go back, add who told you that, and the evidence you have supporting what you were told. Then find at least one bit of evidence against it – one way you’ve seen yourself show up as unique.

It might look something like this (these are made-up examples):

What you were told or believe: I can’t draw.
Supporting evidence: My 6th grade art teacher held my paper up as a terrible example. I still struggle with stick figures.
Refuting evidence: And I can make great visual communications with collage or Canva.

What you were told or believe: Even though everything in my closet could be from someone else’s closet, my father told me I look plain.
Supporting evidence: The tops I spent so much on a couple years ago are totally dated.
Refuting evidence: I suppose having purple hair is sorta unique.

You see, when you get these out in front of you, not only do they not seem so terribly true (because they’re not, of course), you’ll likely see how completely false they actually are. Stop and do this exercise right now. Something within you awakens and starts to roil against any constraints to being unique.

And when you add the small divergences together, you start to see how you are wholly unique.

How will I know it when I find my uniqueness?

You’ll recognize your particular way of being unique when you feel it.

Your first exploration of being unique may focus on things that are visible from the outside. These are the things that others can see. This could include a list of gifts and talents or possessions and accomplishments that we have taken to be markers of our uniqueness.

Of course, none of those are what actually make you unique. What makes you unique is your Soul, the energy with which you enter and engage the world. That’s the diamond we’re uncovering here.

Your own diamond of uniqueness has (at least) four facets. 

• The way your heart embraces has a unique resonance. 
• The way your highest mind shines has a unique energy. 
• Your physical engagement with the world carries a unique momentum. 
• The way spirit informs your direction has a unique luminance.

Your uniqueness is not just one thing.

Looking for “it” is a mis-direction.

A diamond with only one facet doesn’t shine.  

How you integrate your unique wholeness is the gift you are in the world. This is where you’ll find your fulfillment. 

So begin. For the sake of your Soul. For all of us. For the world. Rinse away the projections. Dig out the pebbles (or boulders). Flush out the falsehoods.

Being unique is the imperative of this lifetime.

Welcome Home.

Since 2011, courageous men and women around the world have chosen Divine Navigation and committed to the extraordinary and transformative experience of Aligning with their Soul-through their Divine Coordinates. We invite you to also explore the journey of Understanding Divine Alignment and It’s Life-Changing Benefits.