What is Fulfillment and How Come I’m Not There Yet?
How do I find fulfillment? A question asked throughout the ages. One that many of us still don’t feel like we have a clear answer to. When we do tap into it, it often feels elusive at best. Getting and sustaining fulfillment has long been one of the hallmarks of a successful life. Yet so many never experience it.
When clients are seeking fulfillment, there are a few common things I hear repeatedly. These are really unproductive questions, by the way. Each is based on a false premise of a destination point – a “there.”
- “How come I’m not there yet?”
- “I’m forty, fifty, sixty-something years old, shouldn’t I be there already?”
- “I’ve spent years working on myself, are you telling me there’s more?”
- “I’ve taken all the courses, classes, and programs
There’s a demonstration I use regularly to illustrate the concept of “there.” Try it with me now…
Pick a place in the room you are in. Now go there. Yes, literally walk there. Notice where you are. Once you get there, pick another place in the room and go THERE. Notice where you are. (Don’t peek! Play with me, and we’ll get back to the punchline in just a moment.
You see, the idea that one day we will finally arrive is a primary source of frustration I see with clients and a continual drain on you experiencing fulfillment. The concept implies that my life will start “then” and “there” rather than “here” and “now.”
So, back to our exercise. When you chose your spot and went there, where were you? When you chose again, where did you end up? See, each time wherever we arrive we never actually find ourselves “there.” Instead, we discover that we are only ever “here.” In fact, there is no way to physically be “there.”
The practice then is to live “here” in this moment rather than waiting for our lives to begin when we get “there.”
HERE, not there, is WHERE your life happens. NOW, not then, is WHEN it happens.
What is Self Fulfillment?
While we are conditioned to believe that doing more will get us more and getting more will fulfill us more, true fulfillment isn’t something to be achieved, acquired or accomplished.
Consider a time when you had a goal or a desire. You worked for it – maybe even hard. You got it. Then you got let down. It’s happened to all of us! We think something is going to fulfill us, only to achieve it and be let down.
In part that’s because when we are in the pursuit of the goal we are living in the imaginary “there;” in the future. Once we achieve said goal, we find we are only ever “here.” The fact is that nothing outside of the present moment ever creates fulfillment. That brings us back to our exercise.
The fulfillment we are seeking is actually self fulfillment. This means that true fulfillment can only be created from within. I like to think of the definition of fulfillment as “filled to full; from the inside.” And if it comes from the inside it has to be self-fulfillment. But what exactly are we meant to be full of?
What is Fulfillment in Life?
When it comes to leading a fulfilling life, at some point we’ll learn that no matter how much money we have in the bank, how big our house is, what accolades we receive or how much recognition we get, it will not bring the fulfillment we crave. There’s something much bigger at play here.
Fulfillment in life comes from fulfilling on the experiences your Soul intended for you to have in this lifetime. Key distinction here is the “experience.” But do you even know what that experience is? The tricky part here is the word “experience” which makes most of us think external. Like a travel experience, a beautiful airbnb, or a vista we take in.
An experience, however, is very individual. For instance, You can be standing next to your beloved on that vista each having completely different experiences. From this, you can see, experience actually only happens inside.
Again, fulfillment in life is never about achievement, acquisition or accomplishment – or the external. Regardless of how much of that stuff we get there’s a yearning that only your Soul can fulfill.
Additionally, there is a specific set of energies, your Divine Coordinates®, that are unique to each of us. It is through the expression and experience of these energies that we find fulfillment. Nothing else will satisfy your Soul.
Interestingly enough, this is also the way to fulfill your purpose. Yes, your true fulfillment and your Divine Purpose are directly related. Whether or not you choose to build a business based on your Divine Purpose, you still have a purpose to fulfill.
Often, when seeking fulfillment, in life and in business, we tend to focus on the external things. There is a great deal of energy expended on our vision boards, manifestation lists, affirmations and gratitude journals and, I’d encourage some of those things.
But I’d also encourage you to remember… your outward success in life won’t always lead you to fulfillment. Your self-fulfillment will lead you to success – Soul satisfying success that is!
I would add, the absolute best way to identify what will bring you the fulfillment you crave, how to manifest your greatest desires, and learn who you are at the deepest level, is by knowing and using your individual Divine Coordinates. Your personal Coordinates will always lead you to your Divine Fulfillment.
The present moment experience of your Soul is what true fulfillment really is.