elephant in the room - why is this happening?

Why Is This Happening: Life’s most poignant question

“Why is this happening?” is a common question when life throws us a curveball. Far too often we are led to believe that once we find our purpose and are living intentionally that everything will be all “rainbows and unicorns.” So, when “life happens” to us it can be easy to doubt ourselves. ” Am I really on path? Was I wrong about what I am meant to do next? Why is this happening to me?”

“If I am on my path shouldn’t the way be made clear? Isn’t there some benevolent force that is supposed to move out ahead of me removing the obstacles and filling the potholes on my behalf?”

As wonderful as that might sound, it’s just not the way it works. The you you are living as today may not be the person that is ready and available for all that you have asked for; all that you are meant for.

What if you could look at everything that happens in your world as if it is in some way in divine service to you and the life you are meant to have – because it is!

I’ve seen and experienced this time and again. When things apparently go “wrong” on our path, even when you can’t see them in the moment, I can pretty much guarantee they are here to support you in moving to where you are meant to be.

I once met a man who had been through a series of apparent catastrophes in the nine months prior. Including things like a fire at his house, a custody battle with the mother of his son and losing his beloved dog to cancer. Any one of these incidents alone could be devastating. Combining them all together, it’s easy to see it as more than an apparent string of bad luck. Why is this happening…

What I know about this individual is that his life was setting him up; setting him up for a whole new way of being in the world. You see, he’d long had a dream of living in the mountains of Peru for several months at a time to apprentice with a shaman. If you look from a different perspective, you just might be able to see how these occurrences could actually be in service to that dream. Freeing him from attachments that might otherwise keep him from making this dream a reality.

My own story has included many such periods of “adjustment” (one of which I have previously written about in “Enjoying the Scenery on the Detour”) including one of the biggest I experienced at the beginning of 2013. First let’s take a step back…

2012 was the year that I really came into my own with my work of Divine Navigation®. Having thoroughly established my proof of concept with a slew of satisfied clients, I had found solid footing and created a sustainable and profitable business. I was also enjoying new found freedom as my youngest was just about to finish up her senior year in high school and I was beginning to explore where life might take me next.

As we rounded the corner of 2013, things were only looking brighter. I was on purpose and excited about what my future was to hold. That is until just three weeks into the New Year when my father’s hip broke. Well actually, it had disintegrated as a result of undiagnosed Multiple Myeloma, a rare cancer of the blood plasma that attacks the bone marrow and weakens bones basically from the inside out. “Why is this happening?”

Choices had to be made – and quickly. I made the ones that I felt best aligned with who I was (and who I wanted to be). I moved my dad into my home for his final six months on this earth. I don’t mean to make it sound like the decision or even the execution of the choice was simple. It was anything but.

At times I was frustrated (and I’ll admit, at others downright resentful) at the prospect of putting my plans on hold. I had been just about to enter a period of my life when I was to leave behind the primary role of caretaker; a time when I was going to be free to make decisions for myself before running through the long list of my obligations and responsibilities to others first.

“Why is this happening to me?”

On the other side of the journey, I can now see many “reasons” to my own “why is this happening” question. While I cannot speak definitively to how the experience served my father, I can tell you that it created a tremendous healing in our family primarily between my father and my brother which I do know meant the world to my Dad. This is by far the most precious of the gifts that came out of the entire experience. And there were others that directly relate to me, to my business and where I was to “go” next in my own life.

As someone who had long been overly self-reliant and independent, I was not in the habit of receiving help. And asking for it had definitely out of the question. My life experiences had led me to believe that I had to do it all myself (whatever the “all” might be). I had come to believe it was easier to do it all myself than to be disappointed by asking for and not receiving support. I was the worst delegator on the planet!

Well, the fact is, you just can’t run a thriving business and be a full-time caregiver without asking for help. Even without the current situation, in order to take my business beyond where it was, I was going to need to learn how to let others support me.

With a limited amount of time available, it also required me to get super clear on what I do best (put people on the path of their divine purpose and keep them there). To focus on that and nothing else. Anything that wasn’t vital to the daily operation of the business (and the home) simply got put aside.

Anything that wasn’t directly related to serving my clients got put on hold. This allowed me to see where so many spiritual entrepreneurs waste their time on tasks that make them feel like they are working hard in their business but that don’t truly make an impact and a difference in their business.

During this time I also created the streamlined elegant business model and innovative program progression that I still share with clients in my Business in Your Soul® program to this day. This streamlined my offerings (based on what I do best!), made the business “lean and mean,” allowed me to still double the business revenue and move into multiple six figures that year (without even realizing it until well into the following year!) while not taking on a single new client between February and September of that year.

And most importantly for this recovering workaholic, it reminded me that the things in life that are truly important aren’t things at all; they are people. Having gotten my sense of value out of my accomplishments for so long, it was easy to keep pushing, to keep going for the next milestone and to forget to pause and remember why it all matters.

The people we love and get to share our lives with are far more valuable than any amount of recognition or any balance in our bank account. My personal prayer before this experience had been to have my heart opened. Boy, did my prayer get answered!

For myself, for the gentleman I mentioned and for many of the people I have worked with, crazy as it sounds, the shake up is actually a positive sign. It’s a sign that the universe is supporting you to move into your divine purpose. What’s really happening is that life is conspiring on your behalf to provide you with the experiences that will aid in your “becoming.”

Becoming what? Becoming the you you came here to be. Becoming the you you were meant to be. Becoming the you that can make the difference you were meant to make.

While we can’t eliminate the pain and heartache that comes with major life challenges, we can transform tragedy into empowerment.

Changing the question from “why is this happening to me?” to “why is this happening?” allows us to see something more behind life’s current circumstances. Look closely enough and you might just see the divine purpose behind the experience.

When you wonder “Why is this happening?,” remember it’s not happening to you; it’s happening for you!

When you are not aligned with your divine purpose or need a course correction, life steps in to help out, making the necessary adjustments for your highest good.