You Are Enough: Tapping Into Your Worth
Knowing you are enough can be a delicate balance. We get mixed messages that we should be confident but not too egoic or “full” of ourselves. We want to feel worthy and yet we can’t help but compare ourselves to others. Let’s face it, we don’t get a lot of messages that support the idea that you are enough.
With the rise of social media where we have 24/7 access to (false) evidence that seems to often contradict any concept you may have that you are enough. The reign of “influencer” society has capitalized on our insecurities and fears that we in fact are not enough. All of this has made it harder and harder for many of us to tap into our worth.
Yet even when you are having a hard time sensing it, your worth is there; inherent in who you are. Cultivating access to it and knowing you are enough is a vital step in living a life of purpose and meaning.
When you are not enough
When you are not enough (which is all false belief anyway but stick with me here for a bit) we tend to operate in scarcity, fear, lack and desperation. Why is that? Because we are not tapped into our true nature as a Divine Child of the universe.
The false identity operating when you are not enough has us chase after things that aren’t meant for us (and wouldn’t bring us joy once we caught them anyway), settle for less than we are meant for (ever set your sights only as high as you think you can reach?) and compromise our internal alignment (also known as integrity) to become who we think we have to show up as, and in many other ways sacrifice ourselves and our Souls to conform to societal paradigms.
When you are operating from a place where you are not enough it is actually an insult to – dare I say an assault on – the inherent perfection of your Divine Design. In order to resolve this case of mistaken identity we need to more fully understand the ways that you are enough. More than enough in fact.
What does you are enough mean
What does you are enough mean, anyway? Who set the criteria of “enoughness” in the first place? There is no official measurement of enoughness. But that doesn’t seem to stop us from trying to measure up, does it?
Before we go further into our exploration of what does you are enough mean, let’s take a moment to make a quick list of things you want to be, do or have. Don’t take too long. Just jot down what’s present for you in this moment. It can be absolutely anything. A relationship, a promotion at work, being a leader in your community, a sense of belonging, a best-selling book… whatever you want! Stop now and make that list real quick.
Now review your list and without judging what you wrote down ask yourself, how many of these items on your list are external? Meaning it’s something outside of you that can be achieved, acquired or accomplished. Make a note of that.Then ask yourself, how many of them were internal? Meaning they are felt things that are expressed or experienced. Make a note of that. Do this before moving on. We’ll be referring to your list in just a bit.
Far too often achievement, acquisition and accomplishment are used (by ourselves and others) as that measurement of enough we were talking about earlier. Here at Divine Navigation we refer to those as “external referencing.” Meaning things “out there” we may be inadvertently be using to measure our worth. They are extrinsic factors; not intrinsic ones.
In times past one might have considered the size of your car, the prestige of your job, your influencer status and the size of your bank account as measurement of your enough-ness. These accomplishments may be easy enough to measure but they also lack depth and meaning on their own. They are also things that can be lost almost as easily as they can be gained. When we measure our enoughness on these external factors we are “externally referencing.”
Today more and more of us have more meaningful aspirations such as sharing our message with the world through a book for instance, or the impact we get to have on the world through our Soul Calling. But surprisingly these things can still be externally sourced when they are personality driven and being used to validate ourselves to compensate for the feeling that you are not enough. Or when we hold ourselves back because we aren’t the size we want to be or we get lost in the bank account we imagine will come with that impact.
I remember when I first started my coaching and training career, a past mentor asked me to imagine myself sitting in a room with piles of money around me. Then asked me how much money was there. I don’t recall the amount but what I do recall was the next question. “Is it enough?” Instantly the response that came was “no.”
This was the beginning of the realization that nothing – no thing – external would ever make me feel good enough. Nothing could ever fill the hole where my Soul belonged. And nothing can ever fill the hole where your Soul belongs either.
While these external criteria may be easier to measure, it does not make them more valuable than things such your worth as a Divine Being which is immeasurable (and is instantly accessed through your Divine Alignment.)
When you are never good enough
When you are never good enough it generally comes from one insidious source. Expectations. Expectations are requirements and criteria that have been put in place, consciously or unconsciously. They’ll almost always keep you from feeling you are enough. And they follow us everywhere.
There are four primary sources of expectations at play when you are never good enough is pervading your experience. Expectations of yourself. Expectations of others. And Expectations from Others. And expectations from society. Let’s consider them one at a time.
Expectations of Yourself: These will be criteria you have set up, perhaps inadvertently, to measure your enoughness. This criteria generally originated from outside of you but you have now internalized it and taken it on in a way that it’s now only you holding yourself to this expectation or standard. You say to yourself “I need to be, do or have (fill in the blank), in order to (fill in the blank).” The distance between these two fill in the blanks is what creates the sense of not enough within us.
Expectations of Others: This version of expectations is where you end up projecting the responsibility of when you are never good enough onto someone else. Generally it will be someone close to you. These can be spoken or unspoken requirements of them and perhaps their conduct that you are using to justify when you are not enough. This will sound like “In order for me to be/do/have (fill in the blank), they need to/have to/should (fill in the blank).” This leads to much contention in relationships because we are in essence preplanning resentments when the other person inevitably doesn’t show up the way we think we need them to in order for us to feel like you are enough.
Expectations from Others: Different from the expectations we have of others where we are projecting criteria onto others, these are expectations that are being projected onto us as criteria for us to receive someone’s love, validation, support or acceptance. Most notably parents, parents and peers. This could look like a parent who only values a certain career or a spouse that berates you if you gain 10 pounds, or peers that cast you out if you have your own opinions and beliefs about things. This version sounds like “In order to receive their (fill in the blank), I need to (fill in the blank).”
Expectations from Society: This particular type of expectations are more universal to a society, culture or community. Think of them as “codes of conduct” that we are expected to adhere to. These might be things like if you are Jewish you are expected to marry another person of Jewish faith or heritage. It could be women are expected to be mother’s to have value (not anywhere near true of course!). Another example might be that everyone should retire by a certain age. In all cases expectations from society are criteria that are projected onto a general population if you will. Take a moment to consider which you have taken on for yourself. They are likely so ingrained that if you don’t take a moment to think about it, you might not even realize they are there.
Now go back to the list you previously made and use what you selected to understand which type of expectations may actually be setting you up for a continued experience of when you are never enough. Wherever there is a mismatch of expectation and experience you’ll end up feeling like you are never good enough.
All of these varieties of expectations have us abandon ourselves in some way in hopes of getting something we think we need in order to feel you are enough. This inevitably leads to exacerbating the feeling that you are not enough and maybe never will be. We should never be required to compromise or confirm in order to receive the love and validation we all deserve.
How to feel like you are enough
The secret to how to feel like you are enough is found in becoming all of who you are and embodying that truth. Tapping into your sense of worth is an inside job. Sounds cliché but it’s true. At Divine Navigation we refer to this as “internal sourcing.”
Internal sourcing is being the source of the experiences your Soul intended for you to have. Rather than waiting for them to come from outside of you, you become the source of that which you seek. Looking for love; be more loving. Yearning for connection; be more connected. Hoping for abundance; be more generous.
This is how to feel like you are enough. Already have and be enough for yourself. It’s all here, ready and available to you in this moment. We just have to tap into the frequency of our Soul in order to have it all.
The ultimate antidote for when you are not enough lies in knowing who you are and why you are here. As long as we are searching for ourselves “out there” a sense of inadequacy will haunt us. Tapping into your inherent worth and knowing your Soul Purpose is the sure-fire way for how to feel like you are enough.
Since 2011, courageous men and women around the world have chosen Divine Navigation and committed to the extraordinary and transformative experience of Aligning with their Soul-through their Divine Coordinates. We invite you to also explore the journey of Understanding Divine Alignment & Its Life Changing Benefits.